just as expected

Well, this wont be a very upbeat entry.

This week just sucked. Chemo took forever! 18 chairs and they are all full, the nurses are running ragged to keep everyone going. I sat in the chair about 1:15 and didnt get started on my Pre meds until 2pm. Then they had the drip set to slow and I was there until 5pm! They finally got my pump hooked up and I was out the door around 5:30. It takes an hour and 15 min to get home, I was so freakin tired.

Tuesday was ok. I was nauseated but ok.

Wed just totally sucked. I was so sick. Went to get my pump disconnected and that was it. Plus it was a snow day.. need I say more? Couldnt eat or drink.

Thursday was the worst. I actually almost passed out! It was so wierd. I have never felt that way before. I did eat a plain burger. It was so good. lol I started getting sick too. I mean a head cold or sinus something. Totaly sucked. I was freezing and yet felt flush. I could barely hold my head up. Drank a little juice. I cant tell you how hard it is to try to eat and drink during these days. Everything smells bad, tastes bad, and the texture just makes me gag. I cant drink anything colder than room temp.

Today, I was supposed to work but still so sick. I called in and Im glad I did. I had to force myself to get off the couch and get moving. I ate a grilled cheese sandwich too. I am still blowing my nose like crazy and now that its evening Im feeling yucky again. I hope this starts to go away tommorrow. I need to feel better.

So, I seriously question if I can do this 6 more times. Its so hard to feel this way. I hate it. Im useless to my family and hate the way I feel. Its just so hard.

So Im not as upbeat as normal.. I cant help it. Today... well it sucks!